3 Game Suspension

 Just in case. Content Warning: This article contains uncensored usage of offensive and derogatory terms. Embed from Getty Images     The NHL trade deadline is March 7th, and Philadelphia Flyers general manager Daniel Brière is already holding his cards close to his chest . It's clear, however, that the Flyers are going to be big sellers, asking for high returns and fully assessing value before making any moves. This is smart for a team prioritizing long-term Stanley Cup potential over immediate but shallow good numbers and game wins . That said, it is wholly uninteresting and even boring for the most important player in any such transaction--the viewer.     When it comes time to express your dissatisfaction with the final decisions, or even to put some pressure on him before that point, here are ten derogatory terms for groups Danny belongs to that can add a little flair to your hate mail. 10: Frozen Frog or Snowfrog     A good, classi...

Brink's puzzling lifestyle confuses fans and concerns teammates. Embed from Getty Images      A post on the Philadelphia Flyers social media pages revealed the damning secrets behind the team's listening habits. The boys were asked what their "walk-up song" would be, if there was a such thing in hockey. There were some interesting answers, but the most interesting one was the very first.      "Honestly, I don't listen to, like, a ton of music," Bobby said in the video, refusing to elaborate. What kind of freak doesn't listen to music?     This was not our first insight to Brink's strange lifestyle. He's spoken before about refusing to wear jeans until Captain Sean Couturier went shopping with him to buy some. It's likely this kind of tomfoolery started at the top, as his parents decided to name their son after the legendary NHLer Bobby Orr. Remember, Bobby's legal name is Bobby Orr Brink, while Orr is a "Robert." Andy and ...

 This one stone could kill quite a few birds for the Flyers. Embed from Getty Images      By now Matt Rempe is a household name among NHL fans. He’s your teenage child’s best friend’s favorite TikTok edit subject and your old conservative father’s favorite example of why the NHL needs to go back to the glory days of enforcing. And to everyone else he’s just that guy on the Rangers who’s built like Big Ben. But Rempe can actually be a big asset to a struggling Flyers team that is going through a rebuild the likes of which have only been seen on Bob the Builder. Here’s why: 1. He's Built Like a Refrigerator       The Flyers, who are known for their Broad Street Bullies days, have previously prioritized size over skill often and it has historically worked out for them. Boasting an impressive 2 Stanley Cup wins since the JFK assassination, the Flyers should go back to what has worked for them. Rempe, who is an impressive 4’33” can bring that size and ...

Will the blueliner flatline? Embed from Getty Images     As part of Donald Trump's scheme to meddle with the National Hockey League, the New York Islanders have, for some reason, signed Tony DeAngelo for the remainder of the 2024-2025 season.     The 29-year-old defenseman is most known for his style of offensive defense and his use of offensive slurs . Throughout his career, most of his points have come from assists, which is reported like an interesting statistic despite being the expectation for defensemen. His NHL career is almost impressive, but his averages are greatly reduced by his many unfinished seasons, as nearly every team he's played with has, at some point, begged him to stop playing. DeAngelo had to flee to Russia--the meanest country on Earth--where he was still viciously hated by teammates and coaching staff alike.     DeAngelo's undiagnosed personality disorder has garnered him a reputation of not only "locker room cancer,"...

 I fucking know he does. Embed from Getty Images      Last night, the Flyers lost in a 1-6 game to the New York Rangers, Donald Trump's favorite hockey team, just days after his inauguration. The 78-year-old star of The Apprentice hails from Queens, New York and has somehow become president of the United States for a second time. It comes as no surprise that the Rangers are his preferred team.     Since Donald took office on January 20th, the Flyers have only played two games. Despite taking the win in overtime during their game against the Detroit Red Wings on the 21st, their play quality dropped steeply since battling the lesser Hughes brothers' New Jersey Devils that Saturday (Final: 3-1). Even Coach John Tortorella had to admit they didn't deserve that one .     This wouldn't be the first time Donald had his hands in Pennsylvania, as he most recently produced false republican ballots in the key swing state during the 2024 election....

I just have his best interests in mind. Embed from Getty Images     Pittsburgh Penguins captain Sidney Crosby has, arguably, been the face of the NHL since he entered the league in 2005. The man who was once Sid the Kid is now almost 40 and is a hero and an icon to many hockey fans across the globe--especially in his home country of Canada. It really is important for children to have a good role model to look up to.      But what about the gays?      Crosby, as it stands, represents the same white, cisgender, heterosexual, male population that is already covered one thousand times over in the National Hockey League. It is, at this point, completely selfish of him to continue to pretend to belong to it. Sidney rarely mentions his partner Kathy Leutner who he's been dating in secret for several years--a woman so beautiful that no one would dare think he might be homosexual. We see through your tricks, Sid. Bisexuality exists.   ...